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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608578">REDUX: tonight, it's only you and me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sound_of_inevitability/pseuds/the_sound_of_inevitability'>the_sound_of_inevitability</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, F/M, Pregnancy, Vomiting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27608578</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sound_of_inevitability/pseuds/the_sound_of_inevitability</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah barely stops herself from touching him while he sleeps. Partly to remind herself that it’s not a dream. Partly because, not too long ago, the feel of his skin and the gentle grip of his hands was her only tether to the world. </p>
<p>A remix fic of my other work - but a much shorter, cleaner version!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sarah Connor/Kyle Reese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>REDUX: tonight, it's only you and me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354706">tonight, it's only you and me</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sound_of_inevitability/pseuds/the_sound_of_inevitability">the_sound_of_inevitability</a>.
        </li>

    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her wounds take an hour to look over. The shrapnel in her leg nicked a vein, but it could have been far more serious than it ended up being, according to the doctor.</p>
<p>The nurse is finishing the dressing when the curtain gets pulled back. Sarah pitches sideways and lands on the other side of the bed, I.V. line pulling painfully in her arm, before she sees that it's two police officers.</p>
<p>“Sarah Connor?” one says.</p>
<p>She's afraid to answer, she realises. Her identity has been something of a death brand recently.</p>
<p>The men exchange a glance, before continuing.</p>
<p>“We have some questions to ask you.”</p>
<p>Her pulse slows, just a little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her mom is dead. After everything, after all Sarah has been through, she can't bring herself to cry.</p>
<p>Detachedly, she thinks what kind of mother <em> she </em>will be, after all of this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the police leave, three hours later, and her wounds are dressed and sanitised, she asks to see Reese.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The surgery to remove the bullet takes ten hours. Complications, the doctor says. Sarah feels sick the whole time, on edge, afraid that another barrel-chested motherfucker is going to come marching down the hallway and blow her away. All for the sake of some child she may or may not have in the future. Schroedinger's foetus.</p>
<p>When they release Reese from the operating theatre, they try to keep her away from his bedside. That lasts all of five minutes. Eventually they let her into the room, face red and throat hoarse from screaming. He is heavily bandaged, and still knocked out from the surgery. She perches on the chair beside his bed, and waits.</p>
<p>Waits for him to wake up.</p>
<p>Waits for the future to begin.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Kyle was eight when he first met John. The disposal camps were lifeless, haunted places. Live humans disposing of dead ones until it was their turn for the slaughter.</p>
<p>He was small, scrawny, sent to rummage over the piles of dead bodies with a metal detector to find metal hidden in flesh. A small bag of locator chips hung from his belt. When the detector beeped, Kyle left a chip on the body and moved on. A unit would shortly arrive and remove the body, take it to a factory where the metal would be removed and rendered.</p>
<p>After his shift, the other inmates were gathered around a fire in the courtyard. Searchlights swept the yard periodically, automatically. The last rebellion was six months ago. A group tried to storm the fences and were electrocuted instantly. The whole camp was wiped out shortly afterwards.</p>
<p>Around the fire, people were listening to a newcomer. A tall, brawny man with a scar over one eye. His voice was low, telling old stories of resistance, stories of triumph and victory. Kyle sidled in to join the people, and was struck by the power in the man's gaze. The vitality.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he said, eyes twinkling, “Who have we got here?”</p>
<p>“This is Kyle, John,” the man on Kyle's left said, and pushed him forward gently. “Kyle Reese.”</p>
<p>John's eyebrows perked upwards, and a smile crept across his face from ear to ear.</p>
<p>“Great to meet you, Kyle Reese.”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>In his dream, Reese is in the command room with John. He is older; they both are. John's hair is greying, his face lined with exhaustion. They are so close to the end of the war.</p>
<p>“Sergeant Reese,” John says, eyes fixed on the blueprints in front of him. “Report.”</p>
<p>“The mission was a success, sir.” he says. His heart beats hard, as it always does around John. Afraid of letting him down. John is the soul of the resistance; to let him down means letting down humanity.</p>
<p>“My mother?”</p>
<p>“Alive, sir. Safe.”</p>
<p>“No one is safe, Kyle,” John sighs. His eyes flick up, over Reese's shoulder, and Reese feels heavy footsteps shake the ground. “Not for long.”</p>
<p>And with that, Reese is flung from his dream, back into the past.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He struggles to open his eyes at first. His body feels sluggish and heavy and there is a dull ache in his stomach.</p>
<p>After what seems like an age, his eyes finally open. He’s sitting in the cleanest room he’s ever seen in his life. The bed he is lying in is clean, and the sheets are fresh. He’s wearing some kind of cover instead of his stolen clothes.</p>
<p>Sarah is sleeping in the chair beside his bed. </p>
<p><em> No one is safe </em>.</p>
<p>“Sarah, we need to go,” his voice is low but urgent, and it wakes her instantly. Unsurprising, given the last two days. He throws his blanket off. “We need to-”</p>
<p>He tears his stitches in two places trying to get out of bed.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Once he has been sedated, and Sarah has finally placated the doctor to the point where restraints won't be brought out, his hand finds hers on the sheet. He’s trembling slightly, and she leans in close, whispers over and over that the terminator has been destroyed, that they’re safe. That she’s here.</p>
<p>It seems to be this, more than anything, that soothes him.</p>
<p>His palms are sweating, and she thinks about his body, in this new era. Whether that makes him more vulnerable to infection. Can he catch chickenpox? Should she ask for a vaccination package?</p>
<p>When Reese finally falls back asleep, Sarah thinks about the last 72 hours of her life, and how he is all she has left. The only one who can understand. She pulls the chair closer to his bedside and lays her forehead on the railings.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The next time he wakes, Sarah barely stops him from ripping out his lines and leaping out of bed. This takes her full weight and every ounce of strength she has, leaning on his shoulders to stop him from moving. </p>
<p>“Reese! You are safe. You can’t leave.”</p>
<p>“We need to go,” he says, and the ferocious certainty in his voice scares her, reminds her of the danger. “I don’t know what happens now.”</p>
<p>She has spent more than 24 hours in the hospital. Her details have been taken, and she has seen police officers walking the halls. More than enough of a breadcrumb trail for any terminator - but she is still living and breathing. </p>
<p>“We’re safe here. When you’re better, we’ll leave. I promise.”</p>
<p>His eyes flick between hers, and she feels his muscles relax, little by little. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Sarah barely stops herself from touching him while he sleeps. Partly to remind herself that it’s not a dream. Partly because, not too long ago, the feel of his skin and the gentle grip of his hands was her only tether to the world. </p>
<p>She thought she was going to die. She hadn’t expected him to say what he said. That he - never mind. Maybe his fear got the better of him too. His devotion to her son could twist into a sort of mother-worship. She has no idea.</p>
<p>It felt good to be loved. Felt good to be safe, if only for a short time. </p>
<p>He is handsome. Much more handsome than Dan Morsky. </p>
<p>She has no idea what to do.</p>
<p>In the Tikki Motel she had joked about the things they would do, once the terminator was destroyed. Go to a matinee. Eat a hot dog.</p>
<p>But she’s meant to become the mother of the future. </p>
<p>She has a fate that doesn’t include Kyle Reese.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“How did you know which button to press?”</p>
<p>Kyle is eating his food with stoic determination. The second sedation really hammered the point home. No leaving until he shows signs of improvement.</p>
<p>They brought a tray for Sarah too, and she picks at the limp, over-boiled vegetables. She has already given her dessert to Kyle. In 2029, sugar is rarer than gold. She never gets tired of the bliss on his face when the sweet flavours hit his palate.</p>
<p>“It’s always the top one,” she says around a mouthful of string beans. “At Big Jeff’s, the top button starts the grill, starts the fryer. Everything. It’s always the top button.”</p>
<p>“And tell me again what you said?” He’s smiling ever so slightly, like he’s teasing her, but she knows he loves this story. This is the third time she’s told it to him, and with every telling she sees his image of her solidify.</p>
<p>The legend.</p>
<p>“I said, ‘You’re terminated, fucker!’, and then I crushed the shit out of it.”</p>
<p>He laughs, heartfelt chuckles that quickly turn to groans as the movement of his stomach puts strain on his stitches. Sarah stands and places her hand on the area gently, trying to limit his movement. Almost immediately, his hand covers hers. Warm. Reassuring.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” He looks up into her eyes and the calmness in his face makes her stomach flip. He looks as he did before the terminator arrived at the Tikki Motel. A quiet sort of happy. </p>
<p>Her heart twists, and something must change in her eyes too because a blank expression settles on his face and he releases her hand.</p>
<p>Not quite sure what she’s done, or how to fix it, Sarah sits back down. They sit in silence for a few minutes as Kyle finishes his dinner. She can no longer bear to even pick at hers.</p>
<p>Once he pushes his tray away, Kyle directs his gaze out the window, and his Adam’s apple bobs a few times before he speaks.</p>
<p>“Adrenaline,” he begins. “I used to see it a lot.”</p>
<p>His tone is flat, emotionless, and it’s such a far cry from how he has been that Sarah wants to weep.</p>
<p>“In combat situations, people like to feel... close to other people. It’s our nature as humans. It keeps us safe. It’s nothing to…”</p>
<p>Her face blossoms with heat. She feels chastised, in some strange way.</p>
<p>He’s still not looking at her. His mouth turns down for a second as he mulls over his words.</p>
<p>“You’re safe with me, Sarah.” he says, and she can practically see the line that he has drawn under the situation.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>In 2029 pairings are encouraged, mostly to promote reproduction and the survival of the species, but also because the Resistance knows you don't fight properly without something to fight for. John Connor and Kate Brewster are leaders in this respect, too.</p>
<p>Reese never had an actual person in the future, but he's not stupid. He doesn't begrudge Sarah for what she did. It was a way to relieve her tension and fear. A way to make her feel safe, even for a short while.</p>
<p>It won’t change how he feels. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Once Reese can move around without “terrorising the staff”, they are free to leave. The police show up again, and ask him similar questions to the ones they asked Sarah, but receive similarly unhelpful answers. With no charges to make against him, they give him a warning, but he is free to go.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They go to her apartment first. Kyle is edgy throughout the visit, so Sarah makes it fast. She barely has time to process the stains dotted around the apartment, where Ginger and Matt's bodies were flung violently around. She grabs a bag, and throws in everything she thinks she might need. There's no sign of Pugsley and she thinks it's probably for the best.</p>
<p>While she packs, Reese is pacing around the kitchen, trying to stay calm. TechCom had already started to blow the factory when Reese was sent through time; he has no reason to expect more terminators. This doesn't stop him jumping at every noise outside, at every car pulling a little too close. It also doesn't help that his mobility is limited, with his stomach the way it is.</p>
<p>Once her bag is packed, Sarah pauses at the threshold to Ginger's room. It's still a mess, shards of broken glass and mirror dotting the floor. There is the remnants of a sandwich in the hall, and the smell of old milk mingles unpleasantly with the iron scent of blood.</p>
<p>“Sarah?” Kyle’s voice is gentle, albeit strained. The doctor had ordered bed rest for at least two weeks after they left the hospital, and his willpower can only do so much.</p>
<p>She doesn't answer, instead stepping into Ginger's room and heading straight to the bedside table. She opens the cabinet drawer automatically, mechanically, and finds her housemate's emergency money taped to the underside. It's about four hundred dollars. Enough for now, when combined with Sarah's savings. More rifling – in the wardrobe this time – brings up a small handgun and a box of bullets. These go in the bag too. Finally, she finds Matt's overnight bag and hands this to Kyle.</p>
<p>“A change of clothes.” she says. A soft smile lights up his face, and her heart breaks a little. Matt was taller than Kyle, she remembers, and a larger man thanks to the richer diet of the 20th century. She remembers the feel of Kyle’s skin on hers, his voice whispering in her ear, and feels a soft blush heat her cheek. All of a sudden she aches for his touch. </p>
<p>“Are you ready?” Reese asks, and she nods. He waits for her to leave before following her back to the car. Watching her back.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Sarah drives, in an attempt to let Kyle rest a little. They pass the border with little incident, and head south, off the grid.</p>
<p>They cover a lot of ground before they stop, finding a cheap motel off the main freeway at 2am that is manned by a sleepy clerk. They bring some food from the car, and new bandages for both of them. </p>
<p>“Uno, por favor.” Sarah says, and pays for a room for the night. Her Spanish is high-school Spanish, and rusty. It occurs to her that she will need to remedy this. </p>
<p>The room smells slightly of mildew, but it's clean and the motel doesn't seem to have many other guests. They eat silently, relaxing from their long car journey, and when they finish Kyle pulls a chair up to the window.</p>
<p>“You sleep,” he says, “I'll watch until the morning.”</p>
<p>She's too tired to argue, and strips before crawling under the covers. She expects him to sneak a little look, based on her previous experience with men, but when she turns he is intent on the world outside the motel window.</p>
<p>He's still in that position when she wakes up. While she shuffles to the coffee machine, he slips into the bathroom to shower. When she goes in before they leave, she sees his old bandage in the trash, stained with blood. She changes her own dressing, and throws the old one into the trash with Kyle’s.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Motels bleed into one, Sarah always the one to sleep while Kyle stands guard. They find that it's easier if he sleeps while they drive – he says he finds the rumble of the engine comforting and it lulls him to sleep.</p>
<p>“Besides,” he says. “You’ll keep me safe, Sarah.”</p>
<p>He gives her a tired, lop-sided grin that makes Sarah's pulse quicken. He's not a soldier as she would know one – he doesn't have official military training or experience – but he's competent and dangerous, and it makes her smile to think that he trusts her to keep him safe.</p>
<p>He has shucked the trenchcoat in the heat, and changed his clothes for Matt’s. They hang on him, as Sarah thought they would, but he looks good. He is settling into 1984.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They drive for nine, ten hours at a time, slowly crossing the map into South America. When Kyle isn’t sleeping, they talk, and learn a bit more about each other. </p>
<p>One day, she tells him about her Mom, and how she lost her Dad young. How she met Ginger, and Matt. She lets the tears fall freely as she talks, and his hand reaches out to hold hers in comfort. It’s the first time he’s touched her with any emotion since the hospital, and the thought brings a fresh stab of some pain she still doesn’t want to quantify.</p>
<p>He tells her about the camps. About growing up in the tunnels, and the ruins of the old world. He avoids talking too much about John, and she’s not entirely sure why. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes, when he jolts awake from his dreams, from his nightmares, his hand will fly to his chest as if reaching for something. It occurs to her to ask if it’s an old wound, but she never does. Instead, she reaches over and takes his hand, and sees from the corner of her eye that he is gazing at her as he falls back asleep.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Their life has some semblance of normality, of routine. They drive during the day. She sleeps at night, and he watches for danger. Physical contact is limited to a comforting hand every now and again, and they don’t discuss what happened between them. Sarah looks at his old bandages in every motel trash can, and wonders why he won’t let her change them for him. Undresses herself, slips into bed alone. </p>
<p>“I think this is far enough.” Kyle says, on their seventh day out of Los Angeles. Sarah looks out the front window at the rolling foothills, at the endless fields, and nods.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s another two weeks before they find a place to live. Kyle surprises Sarah by knowing some Spanish, and manages to form a quick friendship with a local who points them in the direction of an empty house out on the plain. The owner is happy to take cash, which suits them both. The house is small, but perfect - a kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and living area, with a flat roof that offers 360 views up to two miles in all directions. She brings her bag in from the car while Kyle is checking the perimeter, and watches him walk the limit of the property. </p>
<p>When he is right at the edge of their land, he pauses, and she sees him reach out. It’s just a little too far for her to see properly, but she imagines his fingertips brushing the tall grasses, and sees the smile on his face.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Who taught you Spanish?” she asks that night, when they are sitting on the roof beneath the stars. They each have a beer, bought as a mini celebration, but Kyle wouldn’t let her buy him more than one.</p>
<p>“Her name was - is - will be - Dani Ramos. She was one of the high command. Always in the thick of the fight.”</p>
<p>“A friend of yours?” </p>
<p>Reese shakes his head, smiling. “Not exactly. But a good soldier. Fearless. She taught me.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” She feels the faintest twinge of jealousy. She knows Kyle also thinks of her as a soldier, but it seems she’s just one of many in 2027. And she wonders what he doesn’t want her to know about Dani Ramos.</p>
<p>They are silent again, letting the cicadas’ chirping fill the gaps between them, watching the stars wheel and circle above. She has been telling him their names as best she can. </p>
<p>“What’s that one?” He asks. He’s pointing into the distant sky above the horizon, at a star that is brighter than the others. Sarah shuffles over and peers down his arm, to where his finger is pointing. She doesn’t know, she quickly realises, but takes a second to enjoy the warmth of his body beside hers. His breathing has gone shallow, and his head tilts slightly to rest against hers.</p>
<p>They sit like this for a few more seconds, the moment expanding in front of them, and then Sarah sits back. “I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Reese nods. “It doesn’t matter.”</p>
<p>He escorts her down to the house, and tidies up a little while she gets ready for bed. The watches will continue until he feels safe. So, she reckons, the watches will continue indefinitely. </p>
<p>She has her toothbrush and toothpaste, but they need basic toiletries like soap and hair wash. Her gaze wanders around the room as she brushes absentmindedly, compiling a mental list. Her eyes light on the trash can for a second, and she thinks about the trail of bloodied bandages she and Kyle have left on their drive down continental America.</p>
<p>It’s only then that her brain plays the image-association game, and Sarah realises what she hasn’t needed.</p>
<p>She hasn’t had a period in seven weeks.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need to go into the town tomorrow. To see a doctor.”</p>
<p>His head whips around, and he looks her up and down. Looking for pain. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” she says. “I just need something.”</p>
<p>He nods, though his body is now taut with tension. He stays for a minute longer, and then leaves without a word.</p>
<p>She doesn’t sleep. Too busy thinking about Kyle, about John, about the possibility that the reason Kyle hasn’t made a pass at her is because the mission has been completed.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Usted estás embarazada, señorita.”</p>
<p>Her Spanish is limited, but she knows what that means.</p>
<p>Embarazada.</p>
<p>Pregnant.</p>
<p>In linguistic terms, the word is known as a false friend. How appropriate.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kyle picks her up outside the clinic. The doctor gave her some vitamins in a white paper bag, and information on the nearest natal clinic in the area. She sits in the passenger seat of their car, and answers with a grunt when Kyle asks if she is OK.</p>
<p>Her mind is spinning. </p>
<p>This is John. She's carrying John. Not only did he - the baby now in her womb - send a soldier from the future to save her life, he probably told him to knock her up in the bargain. Her stomach roils, and she spits out:</p>
<p>"Stop the car."</p>
<p>Kyle obeys immediately, pulling in at the side of the road, and Sarah is out of the car before it rolls to a stop.</p>
<p>She falls to her knees in the dirt and vomits, huge spasms that have her paralysed on all fours. Her hair, already damp from the heat, dangles in front of her face.</p>
<p>Until a pair of scarred hands come into view, gathering her locks gently and holding them out of her face.</p>
<p>She feels like an animal, vomiting in the dirt, and she can almost feel the baby in her abdomen. The baby that was placed there, like she's a breeding cow.</p>
<p>"Get your hands off me." She spits, and flails a hand at Reese that catches him off balance, sending him sprawling back on his ass in the dirt. The vomiting has stopped, and Sarah isn't sure if it's stomach acid she can feel burning up her throat or pure rage. She pushes up with her hands, gaining a shaky balance on two feet and towers over Kyle.</p>
<p>"This was his fucking plan? Or yours?" Her head is pounding, and she feels her pulse behind her eyes. "Get me knocked up and then- and then-"</p>
<p>And then what, she's not quite sure. There's a roaring in her head and she's hot and cold by turns. </p>
<p>Kyle knows what's going to happen before she does, and he is scrambling up to catch her as she falls.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s back in that club. Tech Noir.</p>
<p>The terminator is sitting opposite her.</p>
<p>Dan Morsky is sitting opposite her.</p>
<p>The image flickers back and forth, back and forth. Dan Morsky is the terminator, the terminator is Dan Morsky, and when she looks into his eyes she can see the dull red glow of its eyes behind them.</p>
<p>“Why are you so afraid?” he asks. It asks.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want this,” she says. </p>
<p>The skin on Dan Morsky’s face begins to bubble, as if in a fire. </p>
<p>“There iss…” the hiss of melting skin prolongs the word, drags it out. Underneath this flowing layer, a chrome skull begins to shine through.</p>
<p>Dan Morsky’s eyes ooze like runny eggs, and two circles of hateful red light shine balefully on Sarah’s face.</p>
<p>“There is no fate -”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kyle!” Her voice is shrill with fear and alarm, and she is so deep in her panic that it takes her a few seconds to realise that he is already there, already holding her. She clings to him like a child, sobbing. He’s murmuring to her, and she allows herself to enjoy the feeling of safety, of comfort. It helps to banish the image of Dan Morsky’s face dribbling like hot candle wax.</p>
<p>It’s late in the afternoon, and the air is still. He is almost feverishly warm, and she buries her face in the crook of his neck.</p>
<p>It’s then that she feels the tension in his body. He’s barely breathing. </p>
<p>Softly, slowly, his hand comes up and caresses her hair.</p>
<p>“It’s OK, Sarah. You’re safe.”</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>They head back up to the roof to catch the last hours of daylight. Sarah is holding a coffee between her hands with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. Even with the sun on her back, she is still shivery, and doesn’t know if that’s due to her dream or the baby.</p>
<p>The baby. Her anger is still there, still simmering inside her, but she’s too rattled from her dream to pursue it. She did sleep with Dan Morsky before the terminator came. It might not be Kyle’s. </p>
<p>But it is Kyle’s. She feels it in her bones.</p>
<p>Reese is pacing slowly in front of her, trying to keep up his watch as best he can. He glows in the early evening sun. He’s wearing a light shirt, unbuttoned, and the two halves of the shirt front float on the updraft.</p>
<p>“So, he was your boyfriend?” He asks, looking over at her with one eye scrunched against the light. Sarah shakes her head.</p>
<p>“The reason you found me on Pico was because he stood me up.”</p>
<p>“Stood you up?”</p>
<p>“We had agreed to go out on a date, and he cancelled on me right before.”</p>
<p>Kyle nods, but she’s still not sure he understands. Dates don't exist in his world. And he said he didn’t have anyone. Now, with John sleeping in her womb, Sarah half thinks that that was bullshit. </p>
<p>“Kyle.”</p>
<p>His limited perimeter takes him to the opposite edge of the roof, his back to her. The sun is coming from behind her, and her shadow reaches across the roof to his feet. From behind she can see that his hair is a dirty blonde colour. It crosses her mind that he may go full blond, now that he is in a sun-filled world.</p>
<p>“Kyle, you must have had someone in the future.”</p>
<p>If she can get him to admit it, this anger that swirls inside her will have somewhere to go. If he admits that he loved someone in 2027, that he left them to come to 1984. If he admits he doesn’t love Sarah. That it was all a mission.</p>
<p>Reese takes his time in answering.</p>
<p>He never expected to survive the trip to 1984. Every time he wakes up, he thinks he has died. That this place, with all its warmth and growth, is heaven.</p>
<p>Because Sarah is here. </p>
<p>Kyle tries his utmost best to be her protector, to watch her back. Even though that means disconnecting, ignoring how close she is most days, ignoring the way her hand reaches for his. He is a trespasser in her destiny, and he knows that his love is a danger to her.</p>
<p>He could lie and make her feel better. He could throw himself at her feet and beg for her love. But Sergeant Reese isn’t so selfless, or selfish.</p>
<p>“I did,” Kyle says, and Sarah’s heart twists in pain, ahead of the swelling wave of anger in her chest. He turns to face her again, and smiles.</p>
<p>“I had you.”</p>
<p>The wave of rage in her chest dissipates, transforms, and her eyes fill with tears at the sight of him. The light is full on him, and he looks solid, full of healthy life. </p>
<p>Sarah blinks hard, in an attempt to make the tears fall back, and when she looks up again he is kneeling on the rooftop in front of her. He’s always intense, but his eyes are suddenly burning with emotion. </p>
<p>“I had you,” he repeats. “All I had was you. I lived in a world on its knees, where we starved in the darkness, and every time I slept I was here, with you. I will do anything for you, Sarah. Because you are everything to me.”</p>
<p>Words fail her again, just like they did in the Tiki Motel, so she does now what she did then.</p>
<p>She leans across the gap between them, and presses her lips against his.</p>
<p>Unlike in the Tiki Motel, there is no hesitation on his part now to respond. He presses close and wraps his arms around her, and she feels his love in every caress, every gentle touch.</p>
<p>Her shivers have gone. Her veins feel full of liquid gold as Kyle kisses her. It’s hard to even think of the dream she had last night, but she pulls the words to the front of her mind.</p>
<p>There is no fate but what we make for ourselves, she thinks.</p>
<p>If that is true, then her fate is the one she makes right here on this rooftop.</p>
<p>With Kyle Reese. </p>
<p>“Kyle,” she says, breaking off the kiss, leaning her forehead against his. “I have something to tell you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for my terrible Spanish, and the amount of vomiting in both this fic and the other. </p>
<p>If you enjoyed this one and you haven't read the original <i>tonight, it's only you and me</i> then please do give it a look! :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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